I didn’t plan on writing this today but it’s something that I’m feeling. I know others may have experienced it or will one day. Wanted to share my thoughts and hopefully it’ll help somebody.
My family is preparing for the estate sale of my grandparent’s things. I was tasked with getting the pricing for the items since I have a little knowledge in the area. I can’t be in California to help with the sale, so I asked to be a part of it some kind of way. Pricing the items is my contribution.
When my cousin sent me the videos, I didn’t think much of it. I reviewed them and then went back to look at them more closely and do my research. I don’t know what triggered me but towards the end of my process, I broke down crying. I looked at the pricing list and thought this can’t be what this is worth. The value seemed so low. It’s not because my grandparents didn’t have a beautiful items, but because to me everything from the little candles, the plants, dishes, couches, etc. were PRICELESS! The memories of all those items captures my entire childhood. My grandparents had some of these items my whole life. So, it didn’t matter where they lived, we saw some of the same items and it felt like THEM. It was home!
Now to think that little by little, each of these items will go to other homes saddens me. I know it’s just stuff and it doesn’t take away anything that my grandparents meant to me or the memories I have but it’s still sad. After my mom passed away, I didn’t go back to the home we lived in very often. I was in college and then afterwards, I went into my own apartment. Plus, things didn’t end well with my stepfather so there wasn’t a reason for me to go back. So, my grandparents’ home became my ground zero. It was my home base. It was the one place that was constant no matter where I was, what I was doing, I knew I had their home to go to. I felt safe, loved, and could release. I didn’t have to be a mom, a wife, a businesswoman, none of that. I was able to just be ME, THEIR GRANDDAUGHTER. My only job while there was to relax and let them love on me.
As I type this, I realize it’s THAT I will miss. THAT’S what I know I’m losing. It’s not the THINGS per say. The family each got items from the house that we wanted that meant something to us. So, there are places throughout my home where my grandparents will be represented. But now I don’t have my PLACE, my SPOT to go and just BE where nobody expects anything from me other than to just BE! There’s something about a grandparent’s hug that just seems to wash all your cares away and gives you a sense of peace. I will miss that. I will miss that more than I realized.
So now as I write, the tears have dried up. I suspect it’s from the prayers I requested of my inner circle. I asked them to pray for me today because I was having a moment and I didn’t want it to bring me back into the dark place I just crawled out of. I am choosing to see this whole estate sale process in a new light. As I thought about it and as one of my friends said, a piece of my grandparents will now be in homes all over the state, maybe even the country depending on where it ends up. My prayer for each person who buys something is that the items bring them peace in their homes, and they create awesome memories like I have with these items. If just a sprinkle of the love and joy that was in my grandparent’s home ends up in the buyer’s home through these items, they’ll be blessed. THAT makes my heart smile and it’s my prayer for all of them.
So, if you have been in a similar situation, I’m sure you experienced the same emotions I felt. If you haven’t experienced the loss of your grandparents, know when the time comes, that it will be extremely hard if you were close to them. BUT know that the memories you share aren’t held within their possessions but your heart. I really hope that helps somebody when the time comes. I should know this already because I’ve had to go thru getting rid of my mom and dad’s things when they passed. But this one hit different because like I mentioned before, I’m now the matriarch of the family. So now I will do for my grandchildren what my grandparents did for me. I will always have a place for them where they don’t have to be anybody but themselves. They can leave all their baggage of being whomever the world expects them to be at the door. When they’re here, they are just my babies and I just want to love on them. I pray my children feel the same.
Take special care of all your relationships and hold the people you love close to you. One day God is going to ask for them back so love on the folks that are important in your life TODAY! Tomorrow is not promised.
Y’all be safe, be blessed and be a blessing.
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